Really truly love this post!
Last night I went to pour myself a glass of red, with all intentions of sitting down to do paperwork. I opened my elegant, cherry wood, six paned cupboard door to grab a wine glass sitting all alone in the back corner. I wondered where this lone glass came from and why it was missing its mate. Grasping its delicate stem, I set it on the counter. My mouth began to water as I anticipated my new found interest in red wine, only to look down at the unescorted glass bud and notice it was tainted! Sitting in the cupboard solely, untouched from its owners lack of taste for its filler, this crystal drink ware was water spotted and dusty! This is unacceptable for a woman to drink from, says me.
At this point I went to great lengths to assure all spots were wiped clean and the glass shown and sparkled. Only then did I feel it was acceptable to drink from. I do this as I let a “fuck”bomb slip from my very lips. Some class, right?!
I have always been told I carry myself with class and maturity, but in the privacy of my comfortable spaces and friends, I have a tongue that would make the devil jealous. I personally do not find it attractive in myself, and I cringe at how aggressive it feels when I say these things. I also tend to be the biggest dirty talker there is, a shocker to most I assure you! Looking over my behaviors, I realize they do make me who I am and I shouldn’t have to change, however, I am looking to rise to the next level of my being. I use this tactless way of communicating as a defense mechanism to appear “stronger” and “tough”, and now it is appearing as my weakness and inability to express my needs. To me this level I seek is of maturity, class, elegance, strength, and power. And leadership. I want people to follow me not just because I am aggressive and forceful, but because I am a force to be respected.
I type this today sitting up straight. Despite the troubles with my mother, she ALWAYS scolded me for not sitting up straight. It may mean nothing to you, and it may feel awkward and rigid doing it, but solid firm posture is so very important. Our body language expresses so much to those around us. Shoulders back, hips tucked in, eye contact, and a genuine smile. This is going to be the “me” I’m working towards. I sipped my wine last night from a clean glass. I will say my words with clear intentions. I will articulate what I want and how I feel from those around me, with respect and a “filter” that I always seemed to lack. This burning ember will be a roaring fire and I will become someone others will seek for leadership. Don’t worry, there is still room for fun and relaxed speech, I just need to tone it down a bit. Build my filter. Folks that know me understand this.
Clean your mind, body, spirit, and language, and never drink wine from a dirty glass. Unless of course, you’re camping, in that case… you’re excused.
In regards to my post A Partnership: A Writer’s Space , I wrote about how important it can be to have an inspirational and private space for a writer to express themselves.
I went antiquing the next day of my post and found this beauty at a little shop. It was under priced (to my joy!) at $155 and came with the antique roller chair. I found out the image of what I wanted my table to be was called a “Mission desk” and I even found it in the walnut finish I was looking for.
I couldn’t be more excited!! I have used it already so much and It has become my space of refuge (all smiles!).
Not only did I enjoy finding this gem, I met a cluster of very neat people that owned the antique shops. So much fun exploring history, eating 4th generation candy maker’s caramels, and the adventure of the hunt.
Can’t wait to add a little bookshelf in my “nook/short wall” and a little roller rug.
Peace out all!
There are just some people that fill you with inspiration and hope.
They are magnified by their positivity despite their life trials, things that most of us could never understand. And hopefully never will have to.
Sometimes these little gold specs of life affect your soul in one meeting. Sometimes they have been in your family and you have never had a chance to get to know them….. really, deeply, get to know them. The most recognizable would be a close family or friend that you have grown to love over time, likely from childhood.
Many times these people have no idea the impact they have on others. When maybe the darkness they’re feeling inside could be taking over, others are being filled with desire to be better just from being in their presence. To build, flourish, to create. They are the reason for others inspiration.
And they have no idea. It’s like a crater in my heart. It is filled with the lakes of a new enlightenment.
Each morning, she wakes up. Usually showers. Loves up her pups and continues on with her normal routine of taking them out for a potty break, breakfast, and more doggy kisses.
She opens her car door. Time for work. Feeling the sensation of the cold plastic upon her fingertips, she gives it a pull. Sitting in the driver seat, she smiles at the smell of a new car and turns the key. Maybe her favorite song comes on. Maybe she passes someone along the street that waves to her, a greeting for a new day. And maybe she sinks deeper into the darkness the past few years have brought. She never would have pinned herself to be one to develop cancer. The ugly truth of the past too easily can cover up the brightness of a new day. With a turn of the ridged knob, the thought is pushed to the back of her mind, and the sound of her favorite morning radio station fills the interior.
Work brings routine. Something to look forward to, and a purpose for each day. Her sadness lingers deep within each conversation shared with others who could never understand her pain and loss. She shoves the stabbing pain deeper because she knows each new day is a blessing. But why can’t she of had the opportunity of her peers… healthy and with so many choices? Still….. she trudges on, smiling through each hour. Because that is HER CHOICE. She chooses to hug, to kiss, to love. She willingly shares her story of recovery with raw truth, but never seeking pity.
After her shift it’s home she goes. The comfort of her bed and the awaiting wet noses bring the reminder that life is good and it’s hers for the taking and the making. What kind of magic is in store for tomorrow?
And this is why she inspires. She has no idea the impact. My life is better because of her beauty and truth. To see life through her eyes makes me appreciate the value of her soul and more so, my own. And she has no idea how special and important she is.
What a treasure to behold. To be able to cross paths with someone so filled with such a priceless gift. To be able to make the world a better place and not even know it :).